Back at work and what's next

I went back to work on Wednesday and am doing part days to see how I go. I thought it would be a piece of cake but do admit that I'm feeling a bit knackered this afternoon

Hard to believe it's already been 4 weeks since the surgery and I'm doing pretty well. Still feeling a bit bruised now and then, and sometimes get tired if I overdo it. You don't realise how much you move your boobs until something like this happens. 

Getting out of bed has probably been the most painful as you have to push yourself up to sit up. Getting to sleep has been another challenge, normally I sleep on my side and have had to put pillows around me to make sure I don't accidentally roll over.

After surgery I had a lovely few days at my sister's been looked after and since I returned home I've had a home help courtesy of the health system to do my cleaning [YEAH!], used on-line shopping for my groceries [love it! May never go back to the usual way] and have been able to do the washing quite easily. Luckily my washing machine is only a few steps away from my washing line so I've just carried out a few items at a time. No heavy lifting - so sorted.

I now have appointments to see the radiation specialist on 11/04 and Chemo specialist on 13/04, which should mean I'll start Chemo after my 3 day Food and wine cruise. Excellent timing!

The current pillow configuration

Patron Saint - Helen Mirren?

I was thinking I need my own personal Patron Saint and in my opinion who better than Helen Mirren - if only for this quote alone!



http://shequotes.com/2015/09/28/f-off-shequotes-helen-mirren-quote-confidence-strength-voice-feminism-role-model/

What to call this blog

Before I started this blog I became a bit bogged down with what to call it

• The Rogue Boob
  Somebody else had the same idea
• From HER2 eternity
  Decided nah - too depressing
• Roger & Lucretia 9 1/2 weeks
  Treatment is going to take longer now - bastard cancer!
• Cancer's a bitch - pass the chips
  Went off that idea
• The Boobometer
  Somebody else has used that name for an actual device! Google it
• Melon Squash
  Not strictly true and if you google this you get gardening sites so if you've found this blog and you wanted to know how to grow melons - sorry!

Keep up to date with the boobometer

Letting people know

This is tough, especially telling my elderly mother who had just lost her husband 3 months before. I thought I was handling it ok and breaking it to her gently until I saw the worry in her face and that killed me. There were tears on my part. I know I'm going to be ok but this is just so shit for her.

Others have made it easier for me, I've chickened out and sent a facebook message, then met them later when they'd had a chance to take it in. 

Best way to handle news like that:
 "That's shit Anne - have a beer" ....Thank you I will :)

To those of you I still haven't told yet, sorry that I've been a coward and you're finding out this way - pour a wine, I'm going to be fine

Roger and Lucretia

Early on I had decided that it would help if I gave the rogue boob lump a name, and somehow it being the right boob "Roger" seemed appropriate. So I thought of it as just a troublesome little bugger who had to go, because he was just no good for me.

Imagine my dilemma when it turned out the left boob [which actually was the one everyone was initially worried about] was also going to need to be dealt with. I thought it wouldn't be fair to give them both male names, the left one is going to have to be female, and so "Lucretia" was named.

I was updating a friend on this and she asked "Why don't you just call it Lucy" Fabulous question Kaye - why indeed? Well Lucy sounds all quite nice and innocent, whereas Lucretia is obviously a right bitch... or should that be left leaning bitch?

01 March - Lymphoscintigraphy

This involved a trip to Hamilton and since there had been a lot of roadworks lately and traffic delays I thought I should go really really early. I had also decided since the leaflet they give you says you can drive yourself but that you can bring support if you wish, that I would drive alone and give my sister a break

I was not far away from Hamilton and had literally just thought "I haven't heard anything about my MRI so everything must be ok" when the phone rang.... Dr PC in his usual calm reassuring manner tells me that "there is still an area of concern with the left breast and after discussion with the radiologist I think it would be best to do a hook wire guided excision on the left breast as well to be absolutely sure, rather than monitor it and potentially have to have another surgery later to remove the lump" so I agreed and had to take notes of the change in cost due to slightly longer in theatre. He then asked me if I was on my way to Hamilton and was a bit shocked when I told him yes but that I had pulled over to take his call. Apparently he doesn't recall any of his other patients driving themselves. Oops! I guess this proves the point that even if you think you'll be ok, you never know when you're going to get one of those "Don't be too concerned but..." phone calls and you probably should accept your kind sister's offer to come with you [x2 both the Tauranga sisters offered repeatedly but I said No, I'll be fine!]

Anywhoo, slightly shaken but not stirred, I decided the side of the road was probably not the best place to try dealing with my medical insurance company and I kept driving.

No traffic delays,no problem finding the place and plenty of parking meant I was way too early, so with my phone battery getting into the orange zone I phoned my Insurers. Naturally they needed something in writing from my surgeon (who had told me he was about to go into surgery for the rest of the day, but gave me his email address in case there was any query from the insurance people), I asked the Insurers if they could just email him, but no I had to get him to send me something then email them. Stress levels rising I then had to send the email to Dr PC and ask him to email the quote to the insurers and cc me. I do have a smartphone but it's horrible to use for emailing. Especially if you're sitting in a car, in glaring sunshine, forgot your glasses and are starting to get mildly panicky that maybe just maybe this shit is getting serious. Email sent off successfully, a trip to the cafe for a coffee and a giant chocolate caramel slice restored my nerves.

So on to the sentinel node mapping thing. A male technician this time, which in the info leaflet they do warn you about. By this stage I figured so many people have seen my boobs already what does it matter if the medical people are male or female. Another stylish gown, another narrow platform type bed. This time 3 injections round the nipple on the right boob and THEN...............................
 "ok, now please massage the site for 5 minutes and I'll come back, hopefully the tracer will have started to move by then" so you're lying there massaging your own boob, listening to "Greatest hits" on the radio, looking at a painting on the ceiling...which is upside down. The painting I mean, not the ceiling.

Technician comes back in, "hmmm, no you'll have to massage it some more, I'll have a go"[thru the gown], then he leaves me to it to keep massaging for 10 minutes. Finally the tracer is visible and he can start taking the images. This involves xray plates being lowered down in front of your face, "turn your face to the side, keep your arm up, turn on your side, just a few more. Ok we're done, I just have to mark you." Out comes the felt tip marker and he draws a mark on my boob with dots leading to the armpit, with instructions to re-mark myself if it smudges. Then I'm given the photos to hand over to the surgeon on the day

I had to ask if the painting was upside down or is the bed normally the other way? Turns out if they're filming your right side they have to turn the bed around. Good to know, they should put that in the leaflet

Does my butt look big in this?

I checked my email once I got out, the amazing Pip in Dr PC's office had emailed his note with the extra costs and explanation to my insurers and by the time I got home the insurers had let me know it was all approved - job done!

25 Feb Fun with MRIs

I'd been told that having an MRI is really really noisy, like gunfire. I didn't really believe it, but it is so TRUE! Not that I have ever experienced gunfire, I haven't even played paint-ball

You are shown into a small changing room, told to get into a gown, and you're asked the 20 questions again, "Have you ever been shot, do you have any metal in you, have you got a pacemaker, do you get claustrophobic....." Then they shoot you up with a leur for the contrast dye. 

Then you're escorted down the corridor to the MRI room and you get into position. This involves stepping up onto a torpedo shaped machine, getting on your hands and knees and crawling along until you're aligned right, then lying down, face in a hole like a massage table, gown open with your boobs dangling down into an egg poacher shaped slot. The technicians then have to make sure you're in the optimal position for getting their views, "with no wrinkles, so excuse us while we manipulate you a bit" then they each poke a hand in, grab your boob and position it. I already had the giggles at the getting on my hands and knees on the torpedo so this only made it worse. 

Once you're in position, you get headphones put on you and they're tuned to a radio station to try and drown out the noise. The technicians also talk to you from time to time thru them to let you know how much longer it is. The 2 young women I had were excellent. 

You can't see anything but the machine below you, and have to stay still in one position with one hand clasping a squeeze ball alarm thing in case you panic and the other arm with the leur has to be kept straight, there's a pillow below your knees and they also drape a blanket round your legs because it can get cool. Then the torpedo is slid backwards and you feel sponges squeezing you as you're moved in, once it's all on - the gunfire starts. Actually the noise sounds like a cross between gunfire and lasers from Star Wars

The first lot lasts about 6 minutes, then one of the techs comes in and injects the magic stuff in your veins, then it's another 8 minutes. I'm not claustrophobic but I was really glad when they told me they were done and taking me out. It also takes a while to get the headphones and stuff off you so you can then get back on your hand and knees and get off the torpedo, and I was a bit wobbly after being in one position for so long. 

I wonder how many people they lose over the side?

The MRI torpedo - I know I can't draw!

Here we go...

I've recently been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, had the rogue lumps removed on 2nd March and have just learned I'm HER2 positive which means a change to treatment. Now I have to have chemo damn it.

While this is not the best news it's also not the worst and I'm lucky that it's been caught early, isn't in the lymph nodes and only 1 boob- so yeah for that!

I'm intending to use this blog as a way of keeping track and later on I can look back and see how far I've come.

There's also been a lot to laugh about and I refuse to get all pitied up.

So how did this start? Here's the timeline so far

2016
26 Jan Screening mammogram, I pay every 2 years because I have cysts and both grandmothers had breast cancer. I have the free mammogram in between so this way I get checked every year

29 Jan Phone call from my GP's office, did I know I'd been recalled for extra views? Medex will call me to arrange a time.I rang them instead hoping to get an appointment before the long weekend but earliest was aftwards

03 Feb 1145 Lots of extra views, combined with ultrasound, then magnified mammogram and then a biopsy on both left and right boobs. Initially it was the left one that I was recalled for but turns out the right looks most dodge. Dr Deborah spoke to me afterwards and gave me the heads up that even if the biopsy on the right showed benign she had a feeling there was an area of concern and it would need an MRI as well

04 Feb late afternoon the dreaded phone call from my Dr's office, "Your GP is away and the locum would like you to come in and discuss your results"

05 Feb midday. The longest drive from work to my medical centre. Very nice locum explained that the right boob is cancer, the left boob is benign. Next step is the referral to the Breast Clinic

15 Feb 0945 My sister Isla met me there, we were early of course and then we waited....50 minutes... it's a long time, I'm fairly patient but when a kid started playing his recorder in the waiting room I was about ready to scream.
Dr PC is the surgeon, pretty lucky to get him. He went over the results and wants me to have a "Hook wire guided wide local excision with sentinel node biopsy" will also need to have radiation, and will need an MRI first to get better idea of what is going on. I tried to negotiate a mastectomy but apparently the chance of recurrance is about the same with both options but surgical risk more with the bigger op. As I have medical insurance that will speed things up
Tentative op date set for 2nd March

23 Feb 1400 Pre-op Anaesthetic Clinic. I got to meet the lovely Justin. I've never had a general anaesthetic before, Justin said to me"You're an unknown but there's a lot in your favour, you're healthy, fit and slim" I had to stop myself from saying "I love you"

25 Feb 1200 MRI usually it can be a 4 week wait for an MRI but I get to jump the queue as insurance is paying for it. This was hilarious and gets its own post

29 Feb 1st day off work, blood tests in morning, this is for pre breast cancer surgery. Thought I'd go for walk up the Mt afterwards, not sure if I can totally blame getting blood taken or if it was the humidity but it took me 26 minutes! Usually it's 22-23 minutes

01 Mar 1200 Lymphoscintography - sentinel node mapping in Hamilton
Almost there when I get the phone call from Dr PC, due to the MRI results I want you to have hook wire excision on left boob as well to be sure

02 Mar Op day
First to Medex for insertion of hookwires x2 guided by ultrasound then mammogram to check if they're in the correct place, then off to Grace Hospital for the op - on the table about 1.45pm
The operation goes well, no drama and just a bit of discomfort, discharged the next day. Bit gutted I didn't have to stay longer - there's Sky TV!

Before surgery,
no make up

About 4 hours post surgery

No pain pump required