BOOBOMETER

Monday, 19 September 2016

Doctor Doctor

Saw the radiation specialist today and she's very happy with me, says my skin looks great and that you can hardly tell I've had anything done, she'll see me in a year and I'm now under Oncology care only.

In and out including examination in 12 minutes. I'm so rocking these appointments now.

Here's a sample of some of the medical discussions I've had

Medical speak


The Dr would like you to come in to discuss your result

It's not going to be good

There's an area of concern
I'm about to give you bad news

I don't recall any of my other patients driving themselves to their lymphoscintography
Are you kidding me! What were you thinking, don't do that again.

I don't want you to be too concerned but...
Don't freak out on me


It's not usual
You're a freak

We'll give it another go
OMG I'm freaking out

How do you feel about that?
Please don't freak out

I'm very pleased and have no concerns
Yes - doing a happy dance, I love giving good news

Vs Patient speak

Can't you just tell me over the phone?
I know it's not going to be good

I'd rather you just did the biopsy now
I'm a high flight risk when it comes to needles

Why don't "we" just do a mastectomy

I want to be done with this and always wanted perky little "A"s

I'm a little bit anxious about that
Holy cow I'm absolutely freaking out!

The leaflet said you could drive yourself after the lymphoscintography procedure
Dude, don't worry it's fine

Ok - well that's not great, but I guess it could be worse
OMG!, WTF!

Oh that's great - thank you
Whoop, whoop, I could kiss you, probably best not to, maybe I should hug you instead, no that might freak you out,  can I do a happy dance now? God I hope I don't start crying, deep breath. Hope I've got wine in the fridge... 

Doctor Doctor

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