Too much information?

I had intended this blog to be an honest, tell it like it is account of my experience, and it has been - except that I haven't really been up front about some of the more personal stuff. As I've only got 3 more chemo to go I figured I should tell it all. 

I can hear my brother thinking "OMG what the hell is she going to say now", and this is very likely going to be over-sharing, so if you're reading this and thinking, "Yeah, rather not know all the gory details", here's your pre-warning, step away from the screen NOW.

This is some of the weird/funny/scary stuff that I'm experiencing

• Chemo makes my head itch like crazy, constantly, 24 hours a day
  
• My hair hasn't fallen out in one big dramatic moment, it has been weeks and weeks and weeks of constant fall out, and it's messy even though I cut my hair really really short. Think drifts of bits of hair every time I touch my head. Now my head looks like it's covered in a fine layer of fluff, sort of like a dandelion.
  
• I thought that I would want to try a new hairstyle since the government pays for the wig, but when it comes to wearing Kirstin Wig I feel like a fake Kardashian wannabe. I'm happier wearing scarves and beanies - even though it looks like I've got cancer, because at least it feels like I'm still me
  
• There are moments when I laugh like a loon at inappropriate times because sometimes the medical tests are just plain funny... although that's possibly just me
  
• I have cried over stupid insignificant little things just because I'm tired and sometimes this stuff is hard to deal with. I completely lost it at work one day because I hadn't realised my blood test plaster had come off, and blood got on my sleeve - for some reason it really got to me that I couldn't get the blood stain out. Luckily I was able to hide in the loos until I pulled myself together
  
• I was looking at chemo as a weight loss plan, except that's not how it's turned out (... so far, don't want to jinx myself.)
  Apparently chemo doesn't always mean you'll vomit all the time, sometimes you don't get any nasty side effects AND you put weight on! They don't tell you that in the leaflet, and yes I'm ungrateful and annoyed about the weight gain even though I know I shouldn't be
  
• There's a set of scales as you go into the chemo treatment room, it's best not to use them.
  
•  Just lately for a few days after chemo, I've had mild constipation AND the most horrendous wind ...at night, ...lying in bed. So bad I swear the duvet moves with the jet stream and the cat lifts off the end of the bed. Then she gets in a huff and jumps off the bed which sets me off laughing
  
• I don't sleep well on chemo night, probably a combo of the anti-nausea drug and wind. This week was really bad, at 4.30 am I gave up and tried reading
  
• Sometimes I can't spell a simple word like nausea (just had to google it) when I've always been pretty good at spelling, and that concerns me. I'm hoping it's just chemo brain
  
• I know I should be doing gentle exercise to help with fatigue, but my idea of gentle exercise is a 25 minute walk round my suburb and then when I come home I'm knackered and that gets me down, so then I think stuff it, may as well flag it and avoid the feeling of failure. Tisk, bad attitude... see what I mean?

On the plus side

• You can get your nephew to behave if you pull the "do it for your sick Aunty" card.
  
• Chemo lets you jump queues at labs! Sometimes even at supermarket check outs if people are kind and you wear your scarf and do some fake gagging sounds...not that I'd do that
  
• Not only does the hair on your head fall out but body hair slows down, haven't had to shave my pits for weeks!
  
• You get free stuff, I'm getting to go to a "Look good, feel better" workshop soon, yeah!

An unfortunate side effect