Jagged little pill

I discovered that my recent muscle pain and feeling tired in the afternoons were due to my daily hormone treatment pill "Arimidex". I was ok for the first month on it but have gradually been getting more aches

Forgot to take it one night and didn't realise until about mid-day the next day. Didn't want to stuff up the timing so decided I'd just skip a day, then realised I was feeling great, no aches and more energy. Took it that night and it was back to aching muscles up the backs of my legs and my lower back, and feeling really tired.

Managed to get an appointment for the oncology clinic a few days later and I was all prepared for having to make a tough call on whether to stop taking it  when the registrar said "It's ok, there's another 2 drugs we can put you on, we'll see how you go on Letrozole" so we'll see. 

This week's hereceptin went with no problems at all, and lots of comments from the nurses about how great my hair was looking. I've had a few people stroke my head to see if it feels as soft as it looks - and yes it does, it's how you'd imagine a cuddly polar bear cub's fur feels like

"Don't worry, bout a thing.." (HER2 vs Triple negative)

Here's my attempt at explaining why HER2 positive may not be so bad

HER2 status is one of the things tested when you have a breast cancer biopsy and it takes a while for the result, I guess because they have several tests they do and some take a while to cultivate? Mine kept coming back as ambiguous until the final FISH test which was positive. You also get tested for other receptors like oestrogen and progesterone, mine were all positive which means that hormone treatments are options for me and Herceptin is also an option. 

If you test as triple negative it means hormone treatments and herceptin aren't going to be an option.

Getting diagnosed as triple negative or HER2 positive also means you have a more aggressive type of cancer.

The way I'm choosing to look at it is this. I may be unlucky enough to get cancer in the first place and it's scary knowing that it's more aggressive but mine got picked up early, it is invasive but it hasn't spread anywhere else, it isn't in my lymph nodes, the surgeon is confident he got it all and with clear margins. I've had chemo to be absolutely sure there's nothing lurking, I'm being treated with herceptin - the wonder drug. I've finished radiation and started taking Arimidex every day which is a hormone treatment.

So it's kind of like my body is a house and it's under threat of alien invasion but I'm being protected by teams of elite military dudes with the latest high tech equipment and light sabers and round the clock surveillance and Starsky and Hutch are there too and on top of all that Dirty Harry is at the gate saying "Come on punk make my day" and blowing away anyone even approaching the property because he just doesn't like the way they look at him

Whereas someone who's triple negative just has a simple burglar alarm with no back up team to try and stop them getting in.

Either way, you don't want anything to sneak into your house and trash the place.

Always look on the bright side of life

I figured out I'm about 1/2 way thru my herceptin rounds, so it should be plain sailing now - right?

Yesterday I sat myself in a different chair again, I think I'll have sat in them all by the time I'm done which is an ambition of mine, except the ones in the side rooms. No one wants to go in them, they have beds and all sorts of medical equipment and the really sick people go in them. When people come out of those rooms they're usually wheeled out in a chair or bed and their loved ones always look a bit shell shocked. So I'm not going there.

I think this chair was jinxed, right from the start it wasn't comfortable, no view and the volunteer who always has the home baked shortbread wasn't there. I won't be sitting here again, I thought as I waited to be hooked up. 

I gave fair warning to the RN not to try the bad side of my hand, it's troublesome and still bruised from last time. So then there was a lot of flexing of my hand, turning it over, tapping and then she decided to go for the middle of the back of my hand, kind of in line with my middle finger. This stings like you wouldn't believe. Deep breaths, "there's people dying in Syria with cluster bombs this is nothing, don't be a wuss" is what ran thru my mind. But at least it went in. 

Then once everything was set the pump started making strange sounds like it was going too fast, and my hand was stinging a bit so I was looking at it and saw a bit of blood in the tube, nothing to worry about. Tried to concentrate on my magazine, the pump starts vibrating it's going so fast, I look at my hand again and now the blood is going up the line. That's not good, I start to panic, looking around, can't see a Nurse they're all on the other side, can't see a buzzer, can't remember what button you're supposed to push to stop it. (Can't really miss it, it's the big red STOP button) Get out of my chair, damn thing almost tripped me up, I think it's possessed, try to unplug the pump so I can take it with me to where the Nurses are, can't reach the damn plug, because the evil devil possessed chair is somehow sitting on top of one of the legs of the pump stand. I see a Nurse, her name is Jenny, she's come out of the back office room with a tray of mugs, she's about to go round the corner to the other side,  I start calling "Jenny, Jenny" like bloody Forrest Gump. Thank god she hears me, she sees my face and notices I appear to be doing the tango with the pump and the evil devil possessed chair, rushes over still with the tray, sees the blood, says "Ooh, we'd better fix that" hits the STOP button, the pump stops vibrating, but now the machine beeps (it's supposed to when you hit stop) and Jenny checks the tubing, can't see anything's wrong, starts it up again and the drug bag starts flowing again. By now I'm back in the chair which is acting all innocent, nothing to see here. Jenny continues with her tray, I go back to my magazine, Jenny had to pick it up off the floor for me. 

My heart is just going back to normal as I'm reading about the Brangelina scandal and then the pump starts beeping and displaying "Air in line", this time another Nurse comes over, checks all the tubes again, then spots the tiniest of kinks in the line right at the very top. Unkinks it and starts flicking the line to clear it. By this time another 2 nurses have come to see what all the beeping is about, someone says "The pump just about shat itself with this kink in the line" I'm thinking "it's not the only one" finally the line is cleared, the pump starts working again and I'm back on track. 

All this means my normal 40 minute treatment took about 60 minutes but on the bright side - no bruise! Lesson learned, avoid Darth Vader chairs, and find out what day the lady who bakes the shortbread comes in. Only I'm not changing my days... that's inviting trouble